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04/22/2026

Short update. I haaaate how counterintuitive sleep deprivation is. The more sleep you get, the more tired you are. Curse my genetic predisposition to insomnia, CURSE YOU!!!

04/07/2026

I GOT IN!!! HAHAHHHA!!! The place I'm in right now sucks ass, but I will be free from my confines in around...70 days... I felt like things would be different once I found out I'd gotten in, but it all just feels like...waiting, now. Had a couple of disagreements with a particularly intellectually insecure authority figure recently. Resolved it though, won’t be seeing that guy again in the future. Just gotta deal with the problems you can control, and not worry too much about the stuff you can’t, right?

Last night, I had the weirdest dream. Most of my dreams are surreal but painfully realistic, and this was no different. I have the vague memory about a poster, of a woman’s torso, advertising a small circus-style acrobatics group that’d be performing in a forest near my house... But I remember being the only one who’d shown up. The dream ended up taking place in the foyer of my apartment, with the lights all off except for the one above where the troupe was, almost like a stage. The performers were all young, and it seemed to take place when I was around 13, because I remember being around the age of some of the performers. It was led by an elderly woman, who seemed to be of either Spanish or Italian descent. They seemed a little nervous and disorganized. The actual acrobatics wasn't really the focus of the ream, only the lonely awkwardness of a one-man crowd. I remember thinking ‘tons of people love the circus. So, why isn’t anyone else here? It ended with me applauding them and giving the names of nearby groups from my childhood who’s done similar stuff.

I think the dream might have been a reflection of how lonely it is to have an appreciation for these sort of ‘lost arts’ not many people seem to pay attention to. There is a kind of profound sadness I feel trying to introduce my loved one’s to things like puppetry, typewriters, analog photography and the radio, only to be labeled ‘archaic’. I don't know, maybe it’s just the nostalgia talking.

03/26/2026

Rough few weeks. Just had a big concert with the group i'm in, got home tired, almost midnight. Tommorrow I find out if i've gotten into this program. I'm nervous, but I know whatever happens, It'll pass.

Parents doing some reflection on their lives as a result of my grandparent's decline. Got my new glasses. Kind of make me look like John Lennon lmfao. I've been listening to a lot of Dylan.

03/14/2026

short entry. Looking for gear for the ren fest 6 months early (as one does..) Nobody can find some good quality linen pants for women arond here.. christ...

03/07/2026

The fog has settled over my city, and I’ve spent a lot of time going on walks. I wouldn't call myself an architect, but architecture is an art I feel is both incredibly important and unappreciated in our time. My city has a lot of historical buildings, and I feel like the thick fog brings out another layer of depth in the structures.

A close friend and mentor of my father’s passed away a couple months ago. My dad was devastated, and today he’d spent his time helping his friend’s family sift through his belongings. He came home solemn and exhausted, but also carrying something he’d picked up from the home—a vintage 1962 typewriter... I’m in awe of the machine, but also a little conflicted on being in the possession of a dead friend’s typewriter. The most I can do is take good, loving care of it, and not allow it to live collecting dust in someone’s closet...

I’ve been thinking of reading the Count of Monte Cristo. Something about the weather makes me crave a long, dense and complicated book, along with all the talk about adapting the classics, after the horrendous adaptation of Wuthering Hights released recently. (Mischaracterization pisses me off. It would be better for them to just have made some raunchy period piece, than to use the characters and plot outline of the book, but none of the themes.

02/28/2026

It's been a second since I've written in this, so I'd like to make a few updates! First and foremost, I've gone through another callback procedure. It was generally simple, just a couple of writing prompts and an exercise in creating a news broadcast, and I've gotten another callback for the last interview on Monday. All of my other artist friends who applied have gotten callbacks too, and I'm feeling hopeful for my future at this program! In other news, I've been having a couple fights with my family, and had to do some pretty deep reflections as of late. During one of these crises, I've managed to break my glasses. We're getting new ones, but I don't have any spares, so we're going to go get that sorted today. I've been listening to the ancient sea-shanties recorded by A.L. Lloyd, who's folk songs he'd learned while out on the ocean and recorded in the 50's have been a big art of my upbringing (though, unsurprisingly, a lot of them are very dirty...) my favorite one is The Dreadnought and I've been humming at under my breath for the past week..

02/13/2026

I’ve finally gotten over this cold I had and finished a very nerve-wracking interview yesterday for a program I'm applying to. The whole week before I'd go over everything I wanted to say, the points I found important to make, and the questions I thought they’d ask. I’d made an entire portfolio, written down countless notes, and I'd brought both a briefcase AND a printed portfolio in a giant case (which, I may add, are verrryy difficult to drag along in the early-February wind...)

But oh, my friends, I was met with the fact that it is possible to be too prepared for an audition. Well... It didn't end up too badly. The minute I stepped into the room my nerves went through the roof, and most of the things I wanted to say became either summarized or completely omitted, as I ended up going on some crazed rant about something-er-other. So much, so, that we’d ended up running out of time, and they were unable to ask some of the questions they wanted to...Although, I do think it may have been the enthusiasm that they’d been looking for, so I guess I made a good impression (?) because I just learned that got a call back! The feeling of both shame and pride is...confusing. But I'm not complaining!

02/08/2026

Hello! If anyone reads this, this is the first upload to my blog located on my site. This will probably be updated only semi-regularly. Or maybe not at all, who knows! I've been home sick for the past few days, and this coding thing has gone by pretty fast. I hope this website turns out well, and I'm glad I learned HTML and CSS.

One of the main reasons I made this is because 1- I value the sheer amount of creative freedom this allows, and 2- because learning a new kind of system like this once and a while is meant to improve brain neuroplasticity. I've always been more of the physical kind of creative. I draw better traditionally, I act, sing, I study form and movement, I play percussion, and I enjoy writing by hand/typewriter, and I'm kind of an analogue media nut. I've only ever really gotten a real computer of my own... 3 months ago? Thus, coding in html from scratch with virtually NO computer knowledge has been quite the experiment. Making new connections in my brain is a breath of fresh air and drives forward my life-long value of the pursuit of knowledge. :]